Clothes are Terrible

I can’t even keep my pants up. It’s like this: I either keep my pants up with a belt and get a protruding denim bump near my crotch that looks vaguely phallic, or I skip the belt and get no bump, but I’m hitching my pants up every thirty seconds. I can’t win.

Meanwhile, females on campus pair skinny jeans with lacy combat boots and oversized sweaters and I could not even put that combo together if I had an entire Macy’s at my disposal. If wearing leggings, flannels, and Toms all day, everyday is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. 

I’m sure that guys find men’s flannels and Toms to be real boxer-droppers. That’s why they flock to me on such a regular basis. If only.